Non-Story Threatens American People with Tedium, Political Ploys, Empty Rhetoric

Washington, DC - At 2:00pm today on the West steps of the Capitol building, no news will occur. The typical members of congress who routinely support the oil industry will again offer no new solutions to the gas crisis. Politics as usual, as usual, will go unchanged.

“Both John McCain and the Bush Administration have publicly admitted that more drilling will have no immediate effect on gas prices,” House Minority Leader John Boehner will not say. “Let’s be honest, this whole thing is just a political ploy in an election year.”

“The simple fact is that Speaker Pelosi’s plans to reign in oil speculators and to open up the Strategic Petroleum Reserve are the only options on the table with a chance to provide quick relief to American families,” Republican Conference Chairman Adam Putnam will not admit.

Republican Chief Deputy Whip Eric Cantor will fail to note, “The first executive offshore drilling ban was put into place by President George H.W. Bush. The first legislative ban has been around since 1982. But today, we need political hay and this is a great opportunity to divide the American people through false promises and empty rhetoric.”

“More drilling means billions of dollars for Exxon and the big oil companies, but not a dime for consumers,” Republican Whip Roy Blunt will not state. “But the four of us have taken more than $591,000 from oil and gas interests, so we know where our bread is buttered.”

“Any word written about this Potemkin press conference or the sham proposals put forward by the Republican leadership will be an unconscionable waste of ink,” LCV President Gene Karpinski will not say.